


love is what it takes to live

by sargentblue



Series: oh! you pretty things [1]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: (mainly because i can't write it), M/M, Mild Angst, Mild Smut, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 14:12:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11442549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sargentblue/pseuds/sargentblue
Summary: *"Well, shit."Well, shit, was right. It was an accident, obviously, and the little stick that Isak holds in his hand is the certificate that confirms their mistake."I took my birth control," Isak says straight away.Even is still looking at the two little red lines in shock.*(or: isak and even's journey through pregnancy.)





	love is what it takes to live

**Author's Note:**

> hello, so... um. this was meant to be around 2-3k, but then it turned into this 14k monster. whoops.
> 
> i'd never read mpreg before this week and i've never written it, but i'm having a pretty shitty time and i thought the idea was cute.
> 
> i've had this ready to post for one or two days now, but i didn't know if i really wanted to. it's not my best work at all, so.
> 
> also, the title is from this creepy ass yoko ono songs that freaks me out every time i hear it.
> 
> anyway, enjoy!!

*

 

"Well, _shit_."

Well, shit, was right. It was an accident, obviously, and the little stick that Isak holds in his hand is the certificate that confirms their mistake.

"I took my birth control," Isak says straight away.

Even is still looking at the two little red lines in shock.

"Did you? How did this happen if you did?" he asks, face still the picture of shock. He looks a little like the alien thing in _The Scream,_ only a lot handsomer and a bit more shocked.

Isak shrugs stiffly. "Sometimes birth control fails."

"Fails enough to get you _pregnant_?"

Shit. It's hit him now. They're twenty and twenty-two years old and they're having a baby while Isak is still in university and Even works his internship at a fancy film company. They're nearly broke and spend way too much money on beer and weed. They're not cut out to be parents.

"What the _fuck_ are we going to do, Even?" Isak asks, his voice reaching near hysterical.

Even reaches out and grabs the test from his hands, puts it face down on the toilet seat and takes Isak's hands in his own.

"We'll work it out, baby. We'll be fine."

Famous last words.

 

*

 

All of this throwing up is really getting tiring. Literally, as well as metaphorically. Isak is up at random hours during the night hunched over the toilet seat, vomiting. It's a mystery to him as to why they call it _morning_ sickness when it should be called _whenever-it-fucking-chooses_ sickness.

Even is supportive, of course he is, but he has work and internships to partake in during the day and he can't just take days off like Isak can, so most of the time Isak leaves him to sleep while he suffers silently. It's all good.

The bathroom light switches on and Even emerges from the darkness of their bedroom, clad in only boxers and messy hair.

"You sick again, sweetheart?" he asks in a way that would be incoherent to most, but Isak's spent enough time with Even to make out what he means.

"Yeah," he answers, trying hard not to sound too pitiful.

Even frowns and shuffles over so he's sitting next to Isak, folding his long legs precariously to fit into the small space. His warm hand sweeps comfortingly over Isak's back and it feels nice, so nice that he could probably fall asleep again, right here with his cheek pressed to the toilet seat.

But then he's retching into the bowl again as Even makes pitying noises in the back of his throat. "There's nothing left," he mumbles. "You're just dry heaving now."

Isak leans away from the toilet. "I still feel like shit, though."

"I'm sorry, baby."

"You did this to me," he snaps. It's mean and unfair, they did this together and placing all of the blame on Even is not going to change the fact that they're expecting a baby unexpectedly.

"I know, I'm sorry," Even apologises. He's apologised far too many times in the past two minutes for Isak's liking. It's only been a week since they found out and Isak has heard the words, "I'm sorry," coming from Even more times in that time than he had for the entirety of their relationship before that.

He leans into Even's side so that his face is pressed against a bare chest, then grabs Even's arm to drape it across his shoulders, lacing their fingers together.

"No, _I'm_ sorry," Isak says. "I shouldn't be such a dick to you. We're both at fault for making this happen."

Evens head tilts to rest against his own. He whispers into the quiet of the bathroom, "You don't have to keep it if you don't want to."

Isak lifts himself from Even's chest immediately. "You mean abort it?" He gets a nod as an answer. "Is that what you want?"

"I want whatever you want."

Isak hates when he does that, doesn't say how he truly feels in favour of letting Isak decide. It's a natural trait of Even's, putting others before himself, but sometimes it becomes more hindering than it is helpful. His honest answer may not be what Isak wants, but it's better than this dishonest limbo they get stuck in.

"Even, tell me what _you_ want."

Even's face is tense and serious when he says, "I want to keep it. But, you can do whatever you want, it's your body and your decision."

"Oh, _thank God_. I was worried you were going to say that I should get rid of it. I know it's not the most convenient time to have a baby, but it's _ours_." Even softens as he speaks, pulling Isak back to his chest and hugging him tight.

"Nothing that comes from us could be bad. We just have to make it work, yeah?" He whispers into Isak's hair. They're being quiet tonight, no reason other than the intimacy and tranquility it provides.

"Yeah," Isak whispers back, and believes it.

"Come on," Even says after a few minutes. They've both had time to think and Isak isn't feeling like he's going to vomit at any slight movement, which is always a plus.

Even stands and stretches out his limbs, his flat stomach smooth and silky in the dim bathroom light. Isak can't relate, being pregnant and all. There's a slight bulge on his tummy where there once was not, but that bulge is _their baby_ , and that's a pretty cool idea.

Even reaches out a hand for Isak to pull himself up with. "Bed?" he asks. Isak shakes his head.

"I'll brush my teeth first, you go and I'll join you in a second." He grabs his toothbrush and the toothpaste, standing in front of their sink's mirror.

Even comes up from behind, pressing a slow kiss against his cheek. "I love you. And I love the baby, too."

Isak smiles. "We love you too." _We_. He's never said that in relation to himself and the baby before. It's something he thinks he could get used to.

 

*

 

"Did you know that I used to think 'pregnant' was a swear word?" Isak says into the dead of the night, his head on Even's chest and fingers roaming the length of his torso.

"Huh. That's weird," Even says back.

"Yeah." They go to sleep.

 

*

 

Isak's playing Fifa when Even comes home from work and flops face down on the bed.

"Rough day?" Isak's puts the remote down so he can run his fingers through Even's hair, scratching at his scalp as Even groans.

"Long day," he says and Isak hums in sympathy.

All Even wants is to curl up with Isak in their bed and talk about random crap like Isak's university or Even's internship that he's steadily working his way up the ranks in, or the next time they'll see the guys, hell, even _bills_. But Isak has removed his hand from Even's hair and is kicking goals again in his game.

" _Baby_ ," Even complains, wanting the comforting petting to continue. He stops. Baby. They've got one of those now. Well, not yet, it's kind of small and if they had it in their arms at the moment it would not even resemble a child, but they're _going_ to have one, and that's pretty exciting in and of itself.

He shifts so he's laying on his side instead, able to see Isak's stomach and the way it moves up and down as he breathes. It's small, but there's a bump that Even can see through Isak's shirt and it sets his heart pumping, as it does every time he catches a glimpse of it.

He reaches a hand up to touch it, feels as Isak's breath hitches as he pauses his game and puts the remote down. "What are you doing?" he asks, which, stupid question, Isak knows what Even is doing, he's stroking his belly which contains their soon-to-be-child.

"Saying hello," he replies, shifting so his head is nearer to Isak's midsection. Isak's hand are back in his hair, which is very awesome and very welcome, indeed.

Even lifts the hem of his shirt to expose the skin and the slight protruding bump that sticks out on Isak's stomach, running his fingers softly over it until Isak gives a tug on his hair.

"That tickles," he mumbles, but Even doesn't give it up, still caressing the small outline of their baby. Isak is only eight weeks along, so there's not much to show for it, but Even can see it and that's all that matters.

"We need to name it," he decides.

"What, the baby? You're a little early there, buddy. We've still got seven months to go."

"No, the bump," Even explains.

"What does that even mean? It doesn't need a name."

"Um, hello, everyone names their bump. It's like tradition."

Isak seems to deliberate before he decides, "Okay."

"Could I borrow your phone?"

"Why?" Isak asks, but hands it down nonetheless.

"I'm googling things to call it."

" _Googling_? Where's your originality?"

Even scoffs and types into the search bar. "Okay," he says when he's found a reliable website. "There's Peanut, or Bun, or Plum."

"Why are they all foods? We're not planning on eating it."

"Okay, not foods then. There's Pop. Or Smudge," he turns the phone off and rolls onto his back, his head still positioned near Isak's stomach. "Why don't we just name it ourselves? Gain back my originality."

"Can't we just give it a regular name? Like, I don't know, Keith, or some shit like that."

" _Keith_?!" Even squawks, sitting up. "What the fuck sort of name is that?"

"I don't know! It was the first thing that came to my mind!"

"You know what, lets just do it. Keith it is."

"Even, _no_!" Isak moans. "It's not going to be called Keith, that was just a spur of the moment suggestion."

"Too bad, baby. The bump is called Keith and it'll stay that way until the baby is born." Ignoring Isak's protesting groans, Even flips back over to kiss his stomach, "Hello, Keith."

Isak hits him over the head.

 

*

 

There's writing on the walls and a weight in his heart that Even can't ignore. He was manic, and while it wasn't a particularly bad episode, it was an episode nonetheless. He's not stupid enough to think that if he wishes his bipolar away then it will disappear, but that doesn't stop him from trying.

Isak says it's not a big deal; he's learned how to help Even when he's like that, but now Isak is carrying a baby and he shouldn't have to deal with that sort of stress.

If Even was still the person he was a few years back, he'd consider leaving Isak so that he didn't have to put up with him. He knows now that it would only make things worse on Isak, so he tries not to think about what a burden he is rather than nurturing the thoughts like he used to do.

Isak is nothing but supportive, as always, but Isak is also dealing with sickness that strikes at any time of the day, he gets tired a lot easier and he's still a university student. Isak has his own struggles.

Even had drawn on their walls a house with large rooms and a pool. A big kitchen and children running around. He'd said, "That's our future house, Isak, and those are our future kids."

Isak has learned that it's easier to indulge Even when he's manic, so he'd said back, "What about the baby we have now? Where are they?"

Even had gasped and kissed Isak hard, pushed him down onto his back on the bed. "The baby we have now is in here," a hand on Isak's stomach. "Can you believe you're pregnant, Isak? Can we do it again?"

Isak smoothed down his hair and smiled. "Do what again?"

"Make a baby."

"We've already done that. We can't do it again for a while."

Even grinned wide and replied, "I reckon we could. We can do anything."

He'd crashed the next day and is still laying bed two days later.

"Do you want food?" Isak asks, biting his lip. He always gets so worried when Even is depressed. It's nice to have someone care, but Even can't stop the thoughts that Isak _shouldn't_ care about him.

He shakes his head.

"Do you want anything?"

Even takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. He can feel Isak watching him, and sure enough, when he opens them again Isak is looking at him worriedly. "Lay with me?" he requests. He can let himself have this.

"Sure, baby." Isak clambers onto the bed and lays on his back, pulling Even's head onto his chest. His fingers run through the knots in Even's hair and it feels so good that he closes his eyes. He wants to sleep.

Isak has been checking up on him for the past couple days, but Even hasn't checked up on him back, too busy being depressed to remember. He hasn't checked up on his pregnant boyfriend in two days and he's a piece of shit.

"How's the baby?" he asks in an attempt to remove some of the guilt. It's feeble and it shows in the way that he doesn't feel much better after he's asked it.

"Fine. Making me sick," Isak laughs, but Even doesn't. Isak has been sick and Even hasn't been there for him. If he can't look after a fully grown man how will he ever look after a baby?

"Do you think the baby will have bipolar? Maybe it's hereditary." It's been worrying him for a while. He'd never want to bring another person into the world knowing they may feel like he feels sometimes.

Isak sighs under him. "I don't think so. There's only a ten percent chance of that happening."

"Ten percent is still a lot."

Isak stops striking his fingers through his hair. He tilts Even's chin so that they're looking straight into each other's eyes. "Is this something you're worried about?"

"Yeah," Even admits quietly.

"Even," Isak groans, tugging his face into the crook of his neck. "Even if they have bipolar, which I don't think they will, we can handle it. I've adapted to it with you and we can do the same with a child. And besides, you'd know what they're going through and you could help."

"I guess." Despite the thought that Even would never stop worrying that he'll pass his illness on, Isak's words actually make him feel a little better. He doesn't feel completely okay about it, but anything is a step up from how he usually feels concerning the matter. Although there's still something that's been nagging constantly at his mind since they found out about the baby. "What if I hurt them when I'm manic?"

Isak doesn't speak but Even doesn't stop thinking. There are thoughts racing around his mind at a pace he's unfamiliar with when he's depressed. He knows that if he had any control over the situation he'd never hurt anyone, but that's what scares him so much about being manic. He doesn't have a grip on reality sometimes, and if he does it's loose and almost not there at all. It's scary- the thought that he could _hurt_ someone, _their child_ , and be completely unaware that he's doing it.

"Even, you won't hurt them."

"You don't know that-"

"Yes! I do!" Isak raises his voice, daring Even to interrupt him again with raised eyebrows. "Baby, you are the most gentle person I know. That doesn't change when you're manic. Everything a little more intense, yeah, but you're still kind, and you're still considerate, and you're never violent. You'd never lay a violent hand one someone in your life. The only time you've ever hurt me when you've been manic was when I found out that you're bipolar, and that's because I was scared and I hated myself. You never directly caused me any pain and you never _would_.

"You already love the baby so much. You'd never hurt them either." Isak grabs one of Even's hands and places it gently on his belly. " _Keith_ ," he says mockingly. Even cracks a small smile. "Do you understand? You'd never hurt them, and if it came down to it, I wouldn't let you. They'll be fine with us."

"Okay," Even says when the contrasting silence in the room becomes too much after Isak's speech. He always feels like he's suffocating when it gets deathly quiet.

Even is depressed and Isak is pregnant. They're both scared, but they both have each other.

 

*

 

The first time they talk to the baby, Isak is half asleep and Even is kissing his belly, like he does every night before they go to bed.

"You should speak to them," Isak mumbles out and Even pauses.

"Would they even be able to hear me?" he asks, because that's actually a really good idea and he realises that he really wants to do it.

"Nah, not for around seven more weeks. Babies usually start hearing at eighteen weeks, but you could still practice."

"Wouldn't it be awkward?" Not to be rude to Isak, but Even feels like he'll probably be judged and made fun of if he says half the stuff he wants to say to their baby. For how much Isak's grown and changed as a person, he can still be a bit of a bitch. Even loves him nonetheless.

"No, just say what you want to say. I won't judge," He says that now, but give it five minutes and he'll probably be laughing at Even's sappiness. "Besides, I speak to them. It would be hypocritical of me."

That's not a confession Even was planning on hearing. "Aww," he says moving up to kiss Isak. "Baby, that's so sweet. You're so sweet."

Isak pushes his face away, smiling. "Yeah, yeah. Do you want to do it or not?"

"Okay," Even says as he leans back over Isak's stomach. "Hey, Keith," he greets and curses and Isak pinches his ear, hard. "We're both so excited to meet you. I think we'll have our work cut out with you, but that's okay. We'll figure it out and you'll be the most loved little baby around. We're going to love you a whole lot." He stops when he realises if he continues he'll be crying all over Isak, so he kisses the bump once more, then moves up so he's resting his head on the pillow with Isak's.

Isak laughs wetly, tears in his eyes too, and says, "Fuck, man. Warn a guy."

"Sorry," Even says as he leans over and kisses him. Isak responds eagerly, pulling Even on top of him and spreading his legs. "Is this the increased libido all the pregnancy sites talk about?" He laughs when Isak tugs hard at his hair.

 

*

 

**Baby Daddy**

 

(isak)

Even

 

(even)

yes baby?

 

(isak)

did you change your name on my phone?

 

(even)

no

 

(isak)

Even

 

(even)

yes

 

(isak)

don't lie

 

(even)

i would never lie to you bby <33

 

(isak)

why is your name saved as baby daddy then??

 

(even)

no comment

 

(isak)

what if the boys saw it

they don't know yet

 

(even)

didn't think about that

it's true though

 

(isak)

yeah but it's embarrassing

 

(even)

why ??

i am your baby daddy

can't fight the truth

 

(isak)

goodbye Even

 

(even)

i'll be home soon

try not to miss your baby daddy too much <333

say hi to Keith from me

 

*

 

The door to Even's parents' house opens and they're immediately assaulted by the dog. He's a rotund little thing, with short legs and wiry hair, but he's got the best temperament and he was Even's best friend years ago, back when he had no one else. He's got Isak now, but the dog still holds a special place in his heart.

"Nelson!" he cheers when the dog lifts up on his back legs to put his front paws on Even's legs. He's got his mouth open and tongue out, and Even has missed him so much he could burst.

"Even!" his sister cheers, mimicking his talking-to-dogs-voice. "Come here, boy."

Even stops patting Nelson long enough to stick his tongue out at Anna. He loses most of his maturity whenever he's around her and they go back to acting as they did as children.

"I wish you had that sort of excitement when greeting us," his mamma says in the same mock-offended way he sometimes does. It's one of the many mannerisms he's inherited from her. "Maybe Isak's excited to see us?"

Isak pipes up from beside Even, "I am!"

His pappa steps forward to hug Isak. "I knew from the start that we could rely on you."

"I'm reliable!" Even protests, and he won't have his family claim otherwise.

"Please," Isak snorts. "You spent half an hour doing your hair when you said you'd take ten minutes."

"Sounds like Even," Anna agrees.

"Why am I being attacked?" Even questions, hand to his heart in offence.

"Get over it, nerd."

His mamma sighs. "You two haven't seen each other in weeks and you're already fighting. Please, stop." She has her fingers to her temple and is massaging them.

"Sorry," they both intone.

"It's fine. Now, Even. Are you going to hug me or is that too cool for you?"

Isak laughs and Even sighs as he leans into her. "Mamma. Stop embarrassing me."

"Never."

He moves onto his pappa, who claps his back as they hug. "Good to see you, Even."

"You too, Pappa."

"Right, well, let's move this party into the dining room, shall we?" His mamma asks, but she's already herding them through the hallway, so it's more of an order.

Dinner's set up when they reach the table, so they sit down and start serving straight away.

"How are you both?" Even's dad asks Isak and Even after they've all got food.

"We're fine," Even nods, shoving a piece of broccoli into his mouth.

"Is that all we get?" His mum sounds incredulous; she's always been one for small talk. "No updates? No news to share?"

And _this_. This is the perfect opportunity to tell them, to get it off his chest. But Even hesitates, because _what if_. His parents have always talked about him having kids, but always in the distant future. _"We had Anna when we were around your age, Even. We don't regret it, and we're on good grounds now, but it was hard. It would've been easier if we'd just waited a little longer, until we had a bit more money -"_

"I'm pregnant," Isak says. Just like that.

There's silence around the table until his mum exclaims, "Oh my god! What the hell? Are you serious? Holy shit."

She doesn't usually swear, so Even's dad lays a hand on her arm, saying, "Heidi, love, calm down."

"I can't! I'm so excited, oh my God!" Well, _that's_ a relief. "How far along are you?" she asks Isak.

"Three months."

"Oh my- I'm sorry I just have to- " she stutters out, standing up from the table and walking over to where Isak is sat, pulling him up. "hug you."

"I can't believe you're having a baby before _me_ ," Anna says. She's six years older than Even and it's been her dream for as long as he can remember to become a mother. Were they in any other circumstances Even would tease her, but he knows it's a sensitive topic for her, so he only reaches across the table and lays a hand on her shoulder.

"You'll get your turn," he tells her. She smiles as leans across to hug him, whispering, "Congratulations," into his shoulder.

"Congratulations, boys." his dad says and gets up to hug them once each of their arms are free. "Are you going to find out the gender?"

"No," Even answers. "We're going to keep it a surprise."

" _Why_?" his mamma whines petulantly. As much as she tells Even to grow up, she still hasn't done so herself. "I can't handle waiting six months to know."

"That's too bad, Mamma. We're not finding out."

"Isak will tell me. Won't you, darling?"

Isak shrugs sheepishly. "Sorry."

"Alright," she huffs, returning to her seat. "Let's eat before this gets cold." She stabs a potato.

After dinner, his mamma puts on one of her ABBA records and starts singing along. It reminds Even of his childhood, when he didn't have to worry about anything; not bills, or work, or his bipolar.

_Chiquita_ comes on and Even serenades Isak from where he's sitting on the couch, until Even pulls him up and spins him around singing, _"But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you."_

Isak buries his face into his neck and kisses the skin there, blushing when Anna tells them to get a room. Even flips her the bird and laughs when his mum hits him on the back, feeling happy and content like he was as a child, listening to him mother's old record in the living room. He's got his family, new and old around him and it feels _good_.

 

*

 

"Are you sure you don't want me to come?" Even asks once more. Isak's relationship with his mother had improved by miles in the past two years, but it's still fragile and Even would rather take precautions than let Isak dive headfirst into a discussion that may cause some tension between him and his mother. Isak glares. It's an expression that Even is quite well aquatinted with.

"Even. _Even_. I know you have some sort of-" he waves his hands in the air as if trying to conjure the words. "need to protect going on right now, but I'm just going to see my mum. The baby and I will be fine," Isak says, annoyed and huffing.

He's missing Even's point.

"I think you're missing my point," Even says.

"Well then _tell_ me your point, Even."

Isak is so obviously agitated that a part of Even feels slightly bad about finding him adorable. Most of him is too busy revelling in how adorable he looks to actually care, but because he's a good (fucking great) boyfriend, he takes the few steps to cross the room and tugs Isak into his arms in an attempt to calm him down.

"I'm just worried," he admits, his lips pressed to Isak's hair.

"I know _that_ , babe. Why, though?"

It's a tough question to answer, not because he doesn't know how to respond, but because he _does_ know, he just doesn't know how Isak will respond.

But, they made a rule early on in their relationship to communicate how they both feel, to talk stuff through and consider one and other rationally, so by those rules no incorrect assumptions will be made before they've had the chance to discuss.

However, that rule was put into place _before_ Isak got pregnant, and now, occasionally his rationality goes out the window.

"I just don't want you to- what if your mum doesn't take it well?" Even asks, and waits in silence as Isak processes his words.

"Oh my God," Isak says with a wobble in his voice. That tone is not what Even was expecting. He thought there was going to be anger and outrage, not crying. Isak says, "You think she's going to hate me, don't you? She accepted that I'm gay, but being pregnant is probably too much for her, isn't it?"

_Shit_. Even's made a mess of this now.

"No, no, no. Baby, she won't hate you. She loves you," Even comforts, pushing Isak's face further into the crook of his neck. He can feel the tears as they land on his neck and tries not to feel too heartbroken. If Isak wasn't so hormonal he wouldn't be having this reaction, but he _is_ and the best thing Even can do is try not to feel like a piece of shit (difficulty level: extreme), and instead offer comfort in these trying times.

"You just said she would hate me."

Even pulls back to look at Isak's slightly red face and lifts his hands to brush away the tears with his thumb. "I don't remember saying that," he says.

"You _just_ said it."

"I said she may not take it well, not that she'd hate you."

"That's basically the same thing," Isak says back, punctuating the sentence with a sniffle.

"It's not," Even smooths some curls down on Isak's head, smiling slightly as they spring back into place. "Besides, I think she'll be fine. I just wanted to offer some support in case it doesn't go well."

Isak is more subdued now, tears forgotten in place of a contemplative expression. "I think- I think it would be good if you waited outside. So if she _doesn't_ take it well, you'll be there."

"Sure, baby."

"But I want to tell her by myself." Even gets that, Isak wants the moment to be intimate and unfiltered, and no matter how natural Even being with him for everything may feel, this is something he needs to do alone.

"So am I just going to sit on the doorstep while you're inside?" Even jokes and his smile threatens to split his face when Isak laughs back. "I'll look like a weirdo."

"You already do, baby," Isak says back with the cheeky grin that Even is so, _so_ in love with. He really should be offended, that was offensive and Isak should know that, but Even is too relieved to have dodged that potential bullet that all he can manage is a shocked scoff.

"I hope Keith will be nicer to me than you are."

"I'll get _the baby_ to gang up on you with me," Isak fires back, both of their hands drifting subconsciously to the noticeable bump on his belly.

"I can't believe this unfairness," Even says, their faces so close now that their lips are almost brushing as they speak.

Isak leans forward to land one hard kiss on his lips, then forcibly removes himself from Even to finish getting ready. He shouts, "Leave me alone! You're distracting!"

Even sits on their bed and leans back on his hands, kicking a leg out when Isak walks past him to grab a shirt to change into. He hooks his foot onto the back of Isak's thigh and pulls him in between his legs. "I can think of better ways to distract you, baby."

Isak loops his hands around Even's neck. "But- my mum." It's meant to be a rebuttal but he's already attaching his lips back to Even's.

"We've got a while," Even replies as he pulls Isak onto his lap.

-

An hour later, they're standing at the front door of Isak's childhood home, and Isak feels like there's some sort of living thing in his midsection, causing a ruckus. Something other than the baby, that is.

"Well, here we are," Even says. Isak would thank Even for his keen observation, but he honestly feels like he's going to shit himself and words aren't coming naturally right now.

He's reconsidering this whole thing and is kind of thanking Even for making him cry earlier with telling him his doubts, which would never usually occur, but the hand clasping his own feels like the only thing keeping him from collapsing.

Even, because he's so in tune with Isak, seems to sense his internal conflict and asks, "Do you want me to come in?" Isak is about to say yes, but then he thinks before he speaks for once in his life and replies, "No."

Despite his rocky relationship with his mother, he loves her and he wants this to be a special moment between them. Not that it wouldn't be special with Even there, but his mum had always said that she wanted grandchildren, and Isak feels like this is the one thing he can do right by her.

"No," Isak repeats and turns to Even. Even is still looking concerned, and because they're somehow linked in the brain, it stems the same sort of feelings in Isak.

His mum had said she'd wanted grandchildren, but she'd also said that Isak would find a beautiful girl to marry someday, and look at how that turned out. So, Isak isn't all too sure how she'll react to his news, but he's got this attitude where he does shit without thinking about the consequences. Maybe it'll help him out for once.

"I'm just gonna, like, do it." He raises his fist to the door to knock.

"Do you want me to go around the corner or something?" Even asks. Isak is tempted to reply with, "or something," but he's going to do this as he planned; independently.

He drops his fist to stroke his hand over the back of Even's neck. "Yeah, just come back once I've gone inside. I don't think I'll be too long."

"Okay," Even hums as he leans to peck Isak on the lips and then on the cheek. "It'll be fine. Sorry for stressing you out earlier."

Even's face looks far too apologetic and it makes Isak's heart ache because he _knows_ that Even has these insecurities, ones that Isak has tried to get rid of for the whole two and a half years they've been together, but he knows from experience that they won't just leave. So he pushes up and kisses Even on his lips once more, puts his hand on his chest and gently shoves him away and down the steps.

"I love you," he murmurs as Even backs away.

"I love you too, it'll be fine," he says again.

Isak waits until he can't see Even anymore, then turns to knock on the door. His mum answers almost straight away and pulls him into a hug, which Isak is slightly uncomfortable about, not because he doesn't love hugging his mother, he does, but because his stomach is getting quite large and he's sure she'll notice it if it's pressed right against her.

"Hey, Mamma," he says as she releases him, looking up at him with a small smile.

"Hello, my son," she replies. "Do you want to come to the kitchen? I've made cookies." She's become a lot more stable in the past few years, Isak got her to go to a psychiatrist who gave her medication that helps with her illness, and each time Isak visits her he sees a little more of how she used to be returning. It's comforting to have his mother back.

And she always made the best cookies when he was younger, so that combined with the fact that he's pretty damn pregnant makes him particularly happy to see her back in the kitchen.

"Of course," he says, trying not to appear too eager. His mother is nothing if not observant and he doesn't want her to suspect that anything's up before he decides to break the news. He ignores the niggling anxiety that's creeping up saying she won't take it well.

They sit down at the kitchen counter and catch up over warm cookies and hot tea. He asks how her therapy is going and she asks about university. Isak has missed these small conversations with his mum, he's just missed _her_ in general.

"You've got something to tell me," she says when their talking has come to a lull. His mother, despite all their differences, has always been able to read him like an open book. Isak's come to think of her as not psych _o_ , but psych _ic_ , these days. It's a welcome change.

He takes a deep breath, releases it and says, "I'm pregnant, Mamma."

She gasps and brings a hand to her mouth. He can only see her eyes and the rest of her expression is obscured, so it's up to his interpretation as to how she's taking it. He tries to think positive.

She asks, "I'm going to be a grandmother?"

Isak nods and almost yelps when she launches herself towards him to envelop him in her arms. "Oh, my baby," she says. He feels her hands stroking his hair. "Oh, my baby. How far along are you?"

"A little over three months." She gasps again as he says and it kisses both of his cheeks.

"I'm so excited for you." Isak won't lie and say that isn't a relief. "And you're happy?" she asks, both hands on his cheeks.

"Happier than I've ever been, Mamma."

He texts Even to go home without him, he'll be longer than expected.

 

*

 

Isak sinks down the final few inches with a groan. He's on Even's lap as Even lays back on the bed. Isak's hands settle on his chest as he lifts himself up and then drops down.

" _Baby_ ," Even hears himself whisper. His hands find Isak's hips, thumbs tracing where his pelvis meets his stomach. It's becoming more rounded, enough so that Even can see it through the shirts Isak wears, and it's even more prominent now that he's not wearing one.

Isak moans as he starts to bounce, his curls copying the rhythm.

Even's always been aware that pregnancy may cause an increased sex drive. He's been waiting for it - anticipating it, even. But he's still not prepared for how much it is. Isak is horny almost 24/7 and Even is definitely not complaining.

But the sex is different and it's even more mind blowing than ever. Maybe it's because they've made a child doing this exact act and that does something for Even. It's probably that.

The room is filled with the noises of flesh meeting flesh, Isak's moans and Even's groans, both of their laboured breathing.

Isak changes his angle and gasps when he finds his spot, driving himself down on Even's cock with fervour.

He bounces until he can't anymore, until his legs are quivering and Even has to grab him by the hips and move him himself, thrusting up as he does so.

Isak moans, high and pretty as he comes, spurts landing on Even's chest and his own stomach. Even feels a dirty thrill run through him at the sight.

After a few more pushes, he's coming too, and then Isak collapses on his chest.

Even strokes his back. "You okay, baby?"

Isak nods. "Are you?"

"I'm great. You need me to clean you up?"

Isak nods again, this time with a dramatic sigh. "Be quick," he instructs.

Even grabs the toilet paper they've kept next to their bed since forever and gently cleans Isak until he's whining to be snuggled.

"So demanding," Even says as he rests his chin atop Isak's head.

"Shut up." Isak presses a slow kiss to Even's chest. Snuggles further in, breathes a deep breath. "I love you."

"Mhm. I love you too."

 

*

 

It's times like these that remind Isak of first year, the three of them - Jonas, Eva, Isak - hanging out, just them. The only difference is that Jonas and Eva are no longer attached in every way, and Isak is grateful because he no longer feels like a third wheel.

They're currently arguing on Eva's bed over which two out of the three of them are the best friends. It started because Isak had said, "Jonas, you're my best friend, but I wouldn't kiss you if you payed me." It's true now, thank God, but if you asked him three years ago he wouldn't've objected in the slightest. Thankfully, now he's got a devoted boyfriend who is the father of his unborn child and he's telling the truth when he says he wouldn't kiss Jonas.

Eva quickly forgot about the game of FMK they were playing and started hounding Isak about who he calls his best friend. Jonas joined in and now it's a battle between them all for the title. It feels good to know that they want him to be there with them, despite it being over two years in which they've made it clear that they do.

"Um, hello? Isak and I share the same favourite sex position. That's true friendship," she says, sounding mighty offended.

Jonas groans and Isak yells over her, "Shut up _now_ , Eva!"

That tidbit of information had been shared one night over a few too many glasses of wine and Isak has been unsuccessfully researching how to remove a memory from someone ever since. His best bet is hypnosis, but he tried to do that to his mum back when he was a child and she laughed at him. He's 100% over it now but he'd still rather not risk the humiliation.

"It's cowgirl," Eva whisper-shouts.

Jonas squawks and covers his ears. Isak reaches over and claps Eva over the mouth, but removes his hand before he can get bitten or licked. Maybe both.

"What the fuck? Eva, I said that in full confidentiality."

She screws her face up. "Bull _shit_! You were wasted and had no objections against the whole world hearing it!"

He sticks his tongue out at Eva. He would argue, but it's true, he was far gone and he's got loose lips when he's had that much to drink. He's accepted it, but he still hates to hear what he's said being repeated.

Jonas is still looking disgusted. "I can't believe I know that about you now."

"If it helps, I can't believe it either," Isak says sympathetically. He smacks Jonas on the back to show he means it.

Eva scoffs and rolls her eyes. "You guys are so dramatic. I know this isn't the first time you've talked about sex together."

"It's not," Jonas agrees. "but we've never gone into that much detail."

Eva scrunches her eyebrows up. She looks confused and Isak makes a note to ask her about it later. "You haven't?"

"Nei!"

"Well," Isak interjects. "Magnus has."

Jonas nods his assent and mock-shudders.

Eva reaches over the bed and grabs the pack of chocolate she has waiting on her bedside table. She smacks their hands away when they try to steal some. Sharing is apparently not caring.

Isak says, "Besides, I like to keep my sex life between myself and Even."

Eva shoves a sizeable amount of chocolate in her mouth. "Speaking of him, how's the husband?" she asks around the mouthful.

"We're not married," Isak groans with a signature eye roll. 

Jonas barks a laugh. "Fuck off! You two have acted like an old married couple since you moved in together."

Isak jams his toes into Jonas' ribs for ganging up on him. "It's called domesticity. Maybe if you two got your shit together you could try it."

They both _ooooo_ and laugh, but then Eva says, "No, but seriously. There's going to be marriage and children between you two soon."

Isak mumbles under his breath, "We're already halfway there."

Apparently Eva has developed a special sense of hearing because she laughs and says, "What, are you pregnant or something?"

Isak doesn't say anything in favour of picking at a loose thread in Eva's duvet. She takes his silence as confirmation. "Oh my God! You are!"

Isak shrugs sheepishly and both Eva's and Jonas' mouths drop open.

"What the fuck, bro? Are you actually?" Jonas has his eyebrows raised and Isak tries not to laugh at the picture the two of them make. This is a very serious conversation.

He nods and says, "I was going to tell you, I just didn't know when."

"Oh, my God," Eva says again before she's tackling Isak onto the bed. "Isakyaki! You're fucking pregnant, what the fuck?"

"Yep, could you stop crushing me?" She's not actually, but Isak's always had a flair for the dramatics, no matter how much he denies it.

"Isak," Eva's voice goes soft. "You're having a _baby_?"

"Yes, Eva!" He laughs as she hugs his head into her chest. His face is pressed right against her boobs and he's sure he probably tried to make himself have this sort of wet dream when he was sixteen and still in denial of how gay he was (still is). How the tables have turned.

"Eva, babe," Jonas interrupts. "Let me have a turn."

"I'm not some _toy_ you can pass around!" Isak says, but leans into Jonas' embrace once Eva has pulled away.

"Did you, like, plan to get knocked up?" Eva asks once the news has settled. She's brought out a bottle of red wine which Isak had called her insensitive for, but Eva had said that it was her own way of celebrating and it's his own fault that he can't drink. True, but he glared at her nonetheless.

Isak snorts and steals a piece of chocolate. Eva lets him without protest, this time. "Obviously not. I'm still in university. And twenty. It just happened."

"Were you not on birth control?"

"Of course I was. I'm responsible."

"Sure you are." Jonas pats his arm. Isak pinches him.

"Didn't you use a condom?" Eva asks. It's like Isak's back at the doctor. Maybe he should suggest that to her as a possible career path, instead of pottering around a few jobs and in and out of parties. ("I'm a free spirit, Isak!" "Life isn't free, Eva. You're going to need a proper job sometime.")

He gives her a look. "Eva. We've been together for two and a half years."

" _Oooo_. Sounds like it's not so vanilla between you and Even, then."

Isak and Jonas groan.

"Why do you keep trying to start this discussion? I'm not spilling any details." He's really not going to. Eva would use it against him.

Jonas strokes a hand down Eva's arm. "Give it up, babe. Please."

"Fine," she huffs and falls back against her pillows. "I'm going to teach that kid everything I know."

"Please don't," Isak intones.

She hits him with a cushion, and before long they're all rolling about the bed laughing.

 

*

 

Eskild screams and then cries when Isak tells him.

"Oh, Baby Jesus. I can't believe this. I can't believe your gay love made a child. This is the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Eskild hugs him then and Isak hugs him tight back, because he really, _really_ loves Eskild.

 

*

 

Even has a nice buzz going on at the party. It's just the fifteen of them, the girls, the Nissen boys and the Bakka boys. It's a rare occasion in which all of them are free, so they've made it a small gathering so they can properly catch up.

Even's planning on giving up drinking as Isak does, but Isak insisted on him having one last, fun time with alcohol before he does. Even doesn't think in the least that drinking alcohol equals a good time, but he's grateful for it now. He's feeling a little floaty from the two beers he's had - not needing much for the effects to take a hold of him - and it feels good.

They're all in Chris' backyard because it's become a place that they like to catch up, the sun shining down over them. It's warm as they sit in a circle playing two truths, one lie.

Isak mutters suspiciously as Mutta's having his turn, "Does Mutta have ten cats?"

Even leans down to whisper in his ear. "He does. I got pissed on by one, once."

Isak snorts into his glass of water.

It's Vilde's turn next and they discover that she's got a new girlfriend. She came out as lesbian a while ago and she's had a few relationships since then, but they were all short lived. Vilde insists that this one is going to last.

It's Even's turn next and Isak's hand tightens in warning around his thigh not to say something potentially embarrassing. Even tends to loose his grip on what's appropriate to say when he's tipsy.

"Okay. First one is that I broke my arm from climbing up a tree when I was seventeen."

Even looks around the circle to see everyone considering. Mikael twirls a piece of hair around his finger as he smiles because he knows it's true.

"Second. My favourite colour is blue." Lie. His favourite colour is green and it has been for over two years; since he met Isak and looked into his eyes.

That throws the group off. Favourite colours don't often come up in conversation.

"Third, Isak and I are having baby."

Well, _shit_.

Even turns to Isak with wide eyes as everyone laughs as if it was a joke. Isak has a straight face, but he squeezes Even's thigh hard.

Even didn't mean to say it. They were going to tell everyone, obviously, but they were planning on making it more of an announcement.

"Okay!" Elias shouts. "Let's guess."

"I think the favourite colour was a lie," Chris says, her chin in her hand.

"No!" Magnus shouts. "I think the broken arm was." Mikael tuts mockingly.

"Um, hello?" Noora raises her voice and her wine glass in a bid for attention. "What about the one about them having a baby? That has to be the lie."

Everyone agrees with various shouts. They turn to Even for the answer and yell when he shakes his head slowly.

"What the _fuck_?" Magnus is near tears. "You're having an Evak baby?"

Even nods.

Mikael scrambles over the laps of Adam and Elias to run straight to Even. "Are you serious? For real, no jokes?"

"I'm serious," Even replies, shading his eyes from sun the as he looks up at him.

"Bro!" Then Mikael is pulling him up and enveloping him in the tightest hug he thinks he's ever received.

Even looks over to Isak who has Sana gripping his face, nodding to whatever she's saying to him. They really have become close over the years, even studying medicine together at university.

"Who's pregnant? Whose belly should I be feeling?" Magnus again.

"Isak," Even shouts, and then there's a flurry of activity when everyone rushes over to Isak, presumably to feel his small bump.

Even watches from outside the mob as Isak looks over the head of all their friends, mouthing, "Help!"

Even just laughs and blows him a kiss, smiling when Isak blows him one back.

 

*

 

The boys are pregaming at "Evak's crib," as Magnus has come to call it for about as long as they've lived there. They're all crammed together on the bed, minus Even because he's off buying more beer. He's still their designated guy for the job, despite the fact that they've all be been legal for a couple of years now.

Jonas and Magnus have a game of FIFA going on, Magnus complaining and shouting every time he misses a goal. None of them are surprised because it's common knowledge that he's shit at it.

Mahdi is next to Isak and he's kind of high, so conversation is a little sparse. Despite his prior concerns, giving up beer and weed wasn't actually too hard for Isak. He'd found that his desire to keep the baby safe was bigger than that of his need for recreational substances.

"This game is rigged!" Magnus shouts just before Even walks in the door. Isak watches him kick off his shoes and walk into the bedroom, holding a bag full of beer.

"Hello, boys," he says and they all cheer excitedly. Magnus starts a chant of _beer, beer, beer,_ before Jonas cuffs him over the head and tells him to shut up.

Isak is kind of thankful for the quiet, although he'd never admit it out loud. He's still worried that the boys will think he's a buzzkill because he's pregnant and can't engage in any of the stuff they usually do. They don't always have the time to hang out anymore, not with work and universities to attend, but when they do it's much the same sort of stuff they did when they were still in highschool.

Even comes to sit next to him on the bed, kisses him and asks, "How's Keith?"

Isak rolls his eyes and replies, "Keith is fine."

"What? Who's Keith?" Mahdi has his eyes squinted as he looks suspiciously at them and opens a can of beer. He looses his intensity as he brings the drink to his mouth but misses, beer spilling down his front. He's never been very coordinated when stoned.

Even goes to enlighten him but then Isak's elbowing him in the gut. He winces and folds himself forward, holding his stomach. Isak feels kind of bad but he's not about to let the guys know what Even has taken to calling the baby. That's between them and no one else.

"Keith is no one. Just an inside joke. Ha-ha," Isak says.

The boys stare for a bit and Isak shifts on the bed. They turn away.

"What was that for?" Even whisper-yells.

"You were going to tell them who Keith was. I don't want them knowing that. They'll never leave me alone."

Even, because he's been extra nice to Isak in the past few months and also because he's just the best person Isak knows, nods and kisses him on the temple. "Sorry, baby."

Isak smiles and pecks him, once, twice, three times. He's just about to deepen the kiss when he hears, "No! That was Mahdi who hooked up with her, not you!" and remembers they're not alone.

Mahdi looks slowly over at Jonas. "Who did I hook up with?"

"Katrine," Jonas answers. "Magnus is saying he did, but it was you."

Mahdi tilts his head back and hums. "I don't remember a Katrine."

"That's because you're high as shit," Jonas says and at the same time Magnus exclaims, "Hah, yes! That proves it was me!"

Jonas sighs and looks toward Isak and Even. "Do you guys remember which one of them it was?"

The only Katrine Isak has ever heard of was in his class in primary school. He doesn't recall either of his friends hooking up with that six year old girl, so he says. "I've never even heard of Katrine."

"Me neither," Even agrees and slings an arm around Isak's shoulders, pulling him into his side. Isak rests his head against Even's chest and listens to the heart beating beneath his ear.

"Were you guys even at that party?" Jonas asks. "It was like, maybe five weeks ago?"

"They were probably too busy making the baby!" Magnus interjects, looking proud of himself as everyone laughs.

"We made the baby well over five weeks ago, excuse me!" Even says with a shake of his head.

Later, when the boys are gone to a party, Even lays him down and hovers on top of him, kissing all over his face, his chest, his thighs. He lavishes kisses around his belly, muttering about a thousand _I love you's_ , directed at both Isak and the baby. He makes love to Isak and makes him moan and beg for more.

Isak mostly feels grateful throughout the whole thing. Grateful for his friends, who he still manages to have fun with, despite his not being able to drink alcohol. Grateful for Even, who he loves and gets so much love from in return. And grateful for the baby, who's given them plans for the future together.

It's a nice way to feel.

 

*

 

Isak eats a roast potato at the Bakkoush's and swears he's reached nirvana.

He's always liked potatoes, but there's something about them being roasted like this that makes him want to become a potato farmer, without all the work required.

He's twenty weeks along and growing steadily, so no one questions him when he gets a second helping, then third, and he's about to reach for his fourth when he realises there are none left. It leaves him slightly more emotional than he's used to being over a lack of food, and the looks Sana's throwing him are not making him feel any better.

"Even," he whispers. Even turns from where he's laughing with Elias and Mikael to face him, ducking his head to meet Isak's eyes.

"Yeah, baby?" he replies, also whispering.

"I'm hungry and all the potatoes are gone," he admits. It feels like a really big deal and he hates himself a little bit for feeling so pathetic.

Even scans the table and turns back to Isak looking questioning. "Just have something else. There's lots of food left."

"I don't want anything else. The potatoes were really good."

"Don't you think everything else was?"

Why doesn't Even just _understand_?

"Even, all I want is the potatoes, not anything else," Isak's pretty alarmed to feel tears forming in his eyes, but Even looks even more so.

"We can get you some potatoes on the way home, okay?"

"Promise?"

"Promise."

-

That's when it starts, and since then Isak's been consuming potatoes like they're holy water.

They just taste really good, and he's been hungry a lot recently due to the baby growing about about an inch a day (a _slight_ exaggeration, but it sure doesn't feel like it when Isak looks at his stomach and sees the massive bump).

About half of Even's tips have been used to buy bags of potatoes that he cooks for Isak each night, and he knows it's unhealthy, feeling a little like the lady on My Strange Addiction that only eats cheesy potatoes, but he really feels as though he understands where she's coming from. Potatoes are fucking great.

It's tonight that he adds mayonnaise to his potato for the first time, and it's a revelation; an epiphany; a new way of life.

"Even. Baby," Isak says from one end of the table.

Even looks up from the other. He echoes, "Isak. Baby. What's up?"

He holds up his potato that has a swipe of mayonnaise on it. "This is the best shit I've ever eaten."

Even raises an eyebrow, like he's _doubting_ Isak. First off, _how the fuck dare he,_ secondly, Even needs to try this right now.

"Seriously, Even, you need to try it. Open your mouth," he instructs, ignoring the way Even wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

Even takes a bite and screws his face up in a grimace. "How can you eat that all the time?"

"What the fuck? You don't like it?"

Even shakes his head, the grimace still firmly in place. Rude.

"Huh. Well, all the more for me." Isak settles back down in his seat, resuming his consumption of the best thing he's ever eaten.

"Could I have some water?" Even asks and Isak's still feeling a little offended from his obvious dislike of his favourite food, so he says, "I'm pregnant. Get it yourself."

"Wow. I can't believe how much you love me," Even says sarcastically as he gets up.

"I do."

"Hm?" Even hums.

"I do love you." Has Isak told him that today?

Even kisses his head on the way back to the table. "I know. I love you too."

Isak digs into another potato and looks up at Even, who has a small smile on his face as he looks back. "What?" He asks through a mouthful.

"You realise you're craving?"

Isak's known logically that at some point during this whole pregnancy he'd get cravings, but it never occurred to him that this is why he's become so attached to potatoes. He thought there was some sort of connectional pull between them. Huh.

"Of course I know that, Even," he lies because he's a university student studying medicine, that sort of stuff shouldn't slip his mind. Even's mum said that it may happen, the forgetting things, "pregnancy brain," she'd called it.

Isak thinks pregnancy brain is a bitch.

Even still has that dreamy look on his face so Isak kicks him in the shin to snap him out of it.

" _Ow_!" Isak actually regrets kicking him a little, so he apologises before Even says, "What was that for?"

"You were looking at me." Even raises his eyebrows at that.

"Was that wrong of me?"

Isak huffs and stuffs a bite of potato in his mouth. "No, I just wanted to know what you were thinking."

Even looks incredulous. "Couldn't you have just asked?"

"Yeah. _Yeah_. Sorry, kicking you was just my first thought." - a scoff - "What were you thinking, though?"

Even shifts on his seat and tilts his head so he's looking at Isak deeply with that laser beam stare he has. "I just- all of this stuff makes it more real, you know? The cravings and the little talks about the baby and our friends asking how everything's going."

And Isak _does_ know, he feels it every time he looks at his stomach, when Even smooths his hands over the taught skin or updates him on what fruit correlates to the size of their baby.

"Yeah," he says back. "Yeah, I know."

*

The thing is: Isak isn't opposed to the idea of Even getting himself off. He knows from experience that it's an effective way of releasing tension, as well as some other slightly more _literal_ things.

But Even had told Isak at the beginning of the year that he didn't need to use his own hand to reach his own release anymore, he had Isak to do that for him. (To which Isak had said, "I'm not your sex toy, baby." Even had replied, "I know, you're the love of my life, the sex is just an added bonus." That had earned him a pretty good round of sex, if Isak says so himself.)

So it's a bit of a shock to the system and a blow to his confidence when he catches Even jerking off in the shower.

Even had said that before Isak was even pregnant and he still had his slim, taut body. He wasn't rapidly expanding in the way that he is now, so Isak can understand why Even has changed his mind on his statement. Isak _knows_ he's not as attractive anymore, but he's still wounded by the fact that Even isn't coming to him anymore to get off. He may not _look_ good, but his mouth and hands still work.

Isak back-pedals out of the bathroom as soon as he's shaken himself out of his funk. He sits down on their bed and turns on the TV, aiming for nonchalance and tries not to make it too obvious that it's just been confirmed that he's no longer desirable.

Even comes out of the bathroom five minutes later, looking fresh and clean with a towel slung around his waist. He walks past Isak to grab some clothes from their dresser and Isak tries not to look at the bulge that no longer wants anything to do with him.

"Everything alright, baby?" Even asks. Everything is _not_ alright, but Isak looks up with a smile nonetheless, replying, "Everything's fine."

"Are you planning on cooking?" Even sits down on the bed next to him, now fully changed. Isak's traitorous hormones sing at how good he smells.

"Cooking? Why would I cook?" Is Even trying to give him a hint?

Even nods towards the television, which has a cooking show running. Oh.

"No, I can't cook, you know that. I just turned it on."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

It's silent for a while as they both mindlessly watch the show. Isak tries not to think about Even getting off, but the whole thing is actually making him feel quite sad. Even's always saying how good and perfect he looks with the baby growing, but it's one thing saying it and whole other thing _meaning_ the words.

Usually, by this point one of them would be trying to initiate something with neck kisses or lingering glances, but Even's eyes are firmly fixed on the television and Isak's neck is feeling rather absent from kisses.

He's tired and sad so he gets under the duvet, wiggling himself so that his legs are under Even's from where he's sitting on the bed.

He rolls onto his side because that's the only comfortable position he can find these days as Even asks, "Isak? Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," Isak says, but his voice is weak and he knows Even can hear it from the way he moves to spoon Isak, resting his hands on his tummy from behind.

"Keith is getting so big," Even says as he strokes his hand back and forth. Isak knows it's probably just an observation from an expecting father, but it feels like Even's saying _Keith's getting so big, and so are you, Isak._

And even just the name _Keith_ is getting to him. All other expecting parents he's seen have cute nicknames for their unborn babies, but their's is _Keith_.

"Do you have to call it that, Even? It's fucking ugly."

Over his shoulder, Even looks shocked. "Okay, baby," he says placatingly, "We can call it something else if you want."

"Good."

It's silent, Even still stroking over the large bump.

"The baby is getting big, though," he says again, and Isak is reminded yet again of why he's upset in the first place.

"I know," he says a little quietly and a lot sadly. Even rolls him over so he's lying on his back as Even leans over him. His hands have left Isak's belly and now his fingers are stroking over his face instead.

"Does that make you sad?" Even sounds confused, and rightfully so. Parents should feel happy that their baby's growing, but Isak just feels fat.

"I feel _fat_ ," he says, because full disclosure and all that.

"Isak, you're not fat."

"Well, obviously that's a lie."

"I'm not lying!" Even's moved so he's fully hovering over Isak, their bodies parallel.

"You are, Even! You won't even touch me!" He can hear the wobble in his voice, can feel the tears behind his eyes.

"I'm touching you right now, baby."

"Yeah, but you won't have sex with me! I saw you wanking and you said you never do that, not when you have me!"

Even's eyes soften and his face loses its panicked look. " _Baby_ ," he says, dropping kisses all over Isak's face. "Baby, baby, baby. Isak, is this what's up? You think I don't want to have sex with you?"

"I _know_ you don't! But it's fine. I understand." He really does. Even signed up for Isak's body when it was lithe, not this bloated mess.

"You _understand_?" Even laughs incredulously. "There's nothing to understand! I want to have sex with you, all the time!"

"Then why don't you?" There are tears leaking down from Isak's eyes and he's always been a crier, but this is next level. _Fucking hormones_.

"I thought _you_ wouldn't want to. I know as you get further along, you may not want to do anything and I didn't want to pressure you."

Isak sniffs and Even wipes at his eyes. "Really?"

"Fuck, yes, Isak! You turn me on all the time, and just the thought of you carrying my baby gets me going." He punctuates it with a thrust against Isak.

"It would. You're a weirdo," Isak smiles and smooths some of Even's hair back as it falls over his face.

"And you're perfect," he leans down and kisses Isak. "And I love you." The kisses trail down his neck. "And you're the sexiest person I've ever seen."

"Even!" Isak laughs as Even reaches his tummy.

"And this is the best thing we've ever done together." He kisses around Isak's bump. "How could it ever put me off?"

"Okay, babe, I get it!" Isak squeals. He would be embarrassed about making that noise, but Even's heard him make almost every sound in the book so he figures it's okay. "Prove it. Sex me up."

"Oh, I'll sex you up alright." Even throws Isak's legs over his shoulders with some effort, and leans down to kiss him, but the bump gets in the way and he can't reach. They laugh through it all, and Isak has never felt more desired.

 

*

 

"Seriously, baby. We can't keep calling the bump Keith," Isak says because he really is quite over it.

"You chose it. I don't know why you're complaining," Even answers with an eyebrow raised. They're sitting on their bed watching one of Even's artsy movies, Isak between his legs, both of their hands resting on his distended belly.

"For the last time, I didn't actually want to call it Keith, it was just a random suggestion that you latched onto."

"Uh-huh. Sure, baby."

"Even! I seriously, one hundred percent did not want to call it Keith."

Even sighs and shifts beneath Isak's weight. "What should we change it to then?"

Isak hasn't actually considered that yet. "I don't know. You're the creative one, you think of something."

"Hmm," Even hums.

"Hmm," Isak echoes.

"What about 'the bump'? We call it that all the time anyway." Even's hands are sweeping the length of his stomach, and he can feel the little movements of the baby responding. Even can't feel it from the outside yet, but each time it happens Isak tells him and he lights up from the inside.

"I think 'Bump' is cute."

"Yeah?"

"Yep. Bump it is."

 

*

 

Even has just finished brewing a coffee and is about to pass the cup to Kirsten who's calling out orders, when his boss storms into the small space, Even's phone in hand. He looks angry and his already quite red face is turning a lovely shade of crimson, which is never a good sign.

Even puzzles through reasons as to why this anger seems to be directed to him. He's not been late in a while now - Isak has learned how to let him go without fuss - and the coffee he makes is pretty damn good, so as far as he's concerned, this anger radiating from his boss's beady eyes straight to him is pretty irrational.

"Even." the man barks. The motion of his mouth moving so quickly sets his double chin wobbling so he looks like a very red, very agitated turkey.

"Yes, sir?" He may not like the man, but he's not past formalities.

"Your phone has been going off constantly. Unless it's an emergency, I need you to switch it off or I will do it myself. Forcibly."

_Wow_. Okay.

"Uh, sure, sir. I'll just do that now." Even moves forward, carefully. He doesn't want his boss to pounce. He grabs his phone as soon as it's held out to him.

Switching the screen on, he's a little surprised and mildly concerned when he sees that it's full of texts from Isak.

**Mannen mitt liv**

EVEN

BABY

ANSWER YOUR PHONE

FUCKING ANSWER IT

EVEN

EVEN

EVEN

COME HOME ITS THE BABY

Even's attention is well and truly grabbed when the baby is mentioned. The tone of Isak's texts are undoubtedly urgent, but seem even more so now that Even knows what they're concerning.

He tugs his apron off and quickly shoves it at Kristen, who fumbles for a second before catching on that Even is in a hurry.

He rushes out of the little kitchen, through the flap door that hits him in the back of the thighs every time he uses it, and yells out, "I have to leave! I'm sorry, it's an emergency!"

He unlocks his phone as soon as he's out of the café's doors, tapping on Isak's contact and calling him. Isak answers on the first ring.

"Hello. Are you coming?"

"Fuck, are you okay?" He sounds out breath to his own ears, probably because of the way he's not been breathing very well for the past minute and his quick evacuation left him breathless. He's speed walking down the path to get the the tram. If he leaves Isak or the baby in any prolonged danger he'll never forgive himself.

"Why are you so panicked? Chill, dude."

What the _fuck_?

"Isak, you just left me a series of frantic texts. You said there's something wrong with the baby. I can't _chill_."

"I didn't say there was something wrong with the baby."

"Isak. Technicalities. What's wrong?"

"There's nothing wrong. You just need to come home."

Even loves Isak, he really does. Loves him more than he's ever loved anything, but he really does know how to get Even riled up.

"Can you tell me _why_?"

"Hmm," Isak sounds like he's thinking. It's taking a while and Even is still panicking, so he's really not in the mood for this. Just as he's about to say that, though, Isak finishes, "No. Wait until you get home, then I'll tell you."

Okay. Even will just have to negotiate. "Should I rush? Is it urgent?"

"You don't need to panic, but I'd rush if I were you." That doesn't soothe Even's anxiety at all. "You may miss it."

_Miss it?_

"Okay, well, I'm about to get on the tram. Call me if you need me. I'll be home soon."

"Okay. See you. I love you."

"Love you too," Even replies absentmindedly as he boards the tram. He silently wishes it would speed up as he holds tightly onto a pole.

-

As soon as he reaches his stop, Even's off the tram and running through the streets of Oslo like he's being chased.

Isak is known for his dramatics, but he also downplays situations. For example: if he says he's fine and Even shouldn't worry, Even should probably worry.

He bursts into their apartment complex and runs up the seemingly endless stairs to their home.

The door is unlocked when he reaches it, which is pretty disconcerting, considering he's convinced Isak is being tortured in there.

Once he's pushed the door open, he bounds straight into their single room. His chest is heaving and he doesn't blink as Isak looks up at him.

Isak, who is sitting in the middle of their bed, hands on his stomach and a wide grin on his face. Even checks for injuries while Isak smiles.

"Bump kicked and I felt it from the outside," he says in a rush of words. Even's (limited) breath hitches in his chest as he processes what he's hearing.

Isak has been feeling the baby move for a few weeks now, but every time Even goes to lay his hand on the bump, all he can feel is taught skin; no movement. At first he thought there was something that the baby sensed from him and didn't like, so they stopped moving. Isak had stroked his cheek and kissed behind his ear, telling him, _no, you just can't feel it from the outside yet. Give it a few weeks._

So, Even has been patiently waiting while Isak gasps and laughs at feeling their baby move, still unable to feel it himself. He's infinitely more bitter than he'll ever admit.

"So you're not hurt?" Is the first thing he thinks to ask. In his own defence, he's kind of in shock at the moment and may need to take a moment to lie down.

"No, baby, I told you I was fine." He gasps again, hands still pressed against his stomach. "Come, quick! Give me your hand."

Even holds it out for Isak to grab and watches as he positions on the side of his bump. "Wait for it," Isak says, intensely focused. It's a little scary how hard he seems to be concentrating, staring down at his stomach. Even isn't exactly sure what he's doing.

He's about to ask, when he feels a soft pressure right in the middle of his palm. Isak's head shoots up and he asks excitedly, "Did you feel that?"

Even is frozen, but he nods numbly when he feels another gentle push. "Oh my God. Is that actually the baby?"

"Uh-huh." Isak is smiling so wide and he looks so happy, and Even is too. So happy.

"Oh my God." He pushes Isak onto his back so he's laid out in the middle of the bed. Even kisses all over Isak's face, mumbling, "You are incredible. I love you so much. Oh my God. I can't believe you're real. What the fuck. You're amazing."

Isak laughs and grabs onto his hair. "It was a group effort."

Even can't help but think this was worth possibly losing his job for.

 

*

 

Isak is twenty-nine weeks along when they move out of their tiny apartment and into a bigger one. It's still small, but it's got two rooms rather than one and a bath as well as a shower. It's on the fourth floor, but luckily there's an elevator in this complex, because if not Isak would be quite fucked.

His back is killing him and he's _pregnant_ (which he'd emphasised endlessly when justifying to his friends as to why he's not helping) so he mostly just stands around, taking rides up and down in the lift as the boys and Even moves them in. He's not sorry.

This apartment has an actual living room, one that has a couch and a very cool lamp, so once all of the boxes have been unloaded, Isak sits down on their new couch and promptly falls asleep. It's been a physically straining day for him and the sofa is so inviting that he really can't help himself.

He wakes only when Even is pressing kisses against his forehead, smoothing his hair back. "Baby, wake up. Let's go to bed, hm?"

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Around three hours," Even stands and holds out his hand for Isak to take. "I would've woken you but you looked tired."

Isak groans as he sits up. "What about the backache I have now?"

Even's face pales. It's cute. "Oh, shit. Is that from the sofa?"

"Nah, most of it's from Bump," he says, gesturing to the swollen weight of his stomach. He refrains from using their nickname for it around his friends as they'd be sure to absolutely rib him, but he likes it when it's just himself and Even.

"How _is_ Bump?" Even asks conversationally.

"Moving," Isak sighs. It's reassuring to know that the baby is alright and healthy, but sometimes Isak feels like it's too much to ask for some peace. The baby seems to be just as stubborn as he is.

Even clearly doesn't share the same thoughts, as he's wearing a massive grin on his face. "Can I feel?" he asks, as if Isak would ever deny him that. That would be rude and Isak isn't in the business of depriving Even of interaction with their child. Not unless he wants something, he definitely does _not_ think.

So, he snorts as he leans back into the cushion of their new couch. Even crouches down and lays both hands on the bump. "Hello. Are you giving your pappa trouble?" He lands a kiss to his belly over the shirt. "Could you maybe settle down? I know you love to move, but I love when pappa's happy, and it's a bit hard when you're kicking him all the time. Is that chill?" He waits for an answer that won't come. He's ridiculous and Isak loves him. "Okay, cool. I love you. Goodnight."

Even leans up to land a kiss on Isak's mouth. "Do you want to break the apartment in or are you not up for it?" Isak scrunches his nose and Even copies as he shakes his head.

"Let's just go to bed," he requests.

"Sure, baby." Even helps him stand up, because he's carrying around a lot of extra weight these days and doing even the most mundane of things is a struggle.

As Even leads them to their bedroom with their hands linked, Isak stops in front of the door next to their's. It's open and he can see the empty room inside, and just the sight of it sets his heart racing. They've yet to go shopping for baby furniture because they've had to save money for it with extra shifts, but they will soon and then it will be complete and ready for a baby. _Their baby._

Even stops walking and leans against Isak's side, tilting his head to rest against Isak's own. "What's up?" he murmurs.

"Can you believe they'll be here in under three months?" Isak asks, because _he_ can't.

"Not really," Even replies. "It's still a bit surreal. I think it will feel more like reality once we set the room up." He nods toward the emptiness.

"Yeah," Isak says on a sigh. Just the thought of assembling stuff makes him want to lay down, although that may just be the strain of being twenty-nine weeks pregnant.

Even turns and catches his chin, tugging Isak's face to look up at his own. He leans down and kisses him.

"I'm so excited," Even says into his lips.

Isak loops his arms around Even's neck and breathes, "Me too."

 

*

 

It's not the first time that Isak wakes up to Christmas music blasting in his ears, but it is the first time it's been on an actual Christmas Day.

Each year during November and December, Even gains an obsession with Michael Bublé. Isak had called him a basic bitch at first, but Even had said that it was justified because the only reason that his Christmas album was popular was because it's so good. Isak had given up and agreed. He prefers it to the baby relaxation music Even had put on a few times anyway.

Isak tries to be annoyed, he really does, because he's tired _all the time_ these days, but the sight of Even dancing in front of him makes him smile involuntarily.

"Good morning, babies!" Even shimmies over to kiss Isak on the lips and then on his belly.

"Good morning," Isak echoes. Even is mouthing the words to _All I Want For Christmas Is You_ against his lips. "You're so cheesy, holy fuck."

Even kisses him again. Hums and tilts his head. "You love it."

And Isak does.

-

Even cooks him a big breakfast, complete with his signature scrambled eggs. He leaves the music on but turns it down so they can chat as they eat.

"Does this count as the baby's first Christmas?" Isak questions once they've moved into the living room, laying practically on top of each other on the sofa. It's a little hard with Isak's belly in the way, but they manage.

"Hmm," Even strokes some of Isak's curls away from his face. "I don't think so. I think it only counts when they're born."

"But we've only got, like, less than a month left until they are."

"Yes, but until then they shall remain unborn." It's silent for a bit until Even speaks again, "I feel like they're with us right now, though. Like it's not just us."

Isak scoffs. "Wait until they're here. We'll never forget that we're not alone, not with all the screaming and crying."

Even laughs as he leans his head back against the arm of the chair. "I'm excited for all of that, though."

Isak thinks about it. He is too. He can't wait. In a year, they may be sitting in this exact same position, not much may have changed, but they'll have a baby. A little part of both of them.

It says something that he - a person with unreasonable anxiety over the smallest of things - can only smile and say, "So am I."

 

*

 

The baby is born on a cold January evening, and she's both the smallest and sweetest human either of them have ever seen.

They name her Elise because it was one of the only names that they actually liked during their months worth of searching. She doesn't have much hair, but what she does have is blonde and curly, her eyes are blue, but that could change as she grows, her nose is small and squishy, and they love every part of her.

Isak is exhausted but happy, Even is over the moon yet also very close to asking for a cast on his hand. But, he can deal with a broken hand in exchange for a baby.

"I'm so proud of you," he murmurs into the side of Isak's head. Isak has Elise balanced on his legs, fingers moving all over her white romper. "She's so beautiful."

"Yeah. It's still a bit surreal that we made her," he replies, voice hoarse from hours of yelling that Even had to endure straight into his ear (he doesn't mind).

"Should we let the boys in? Magnus is blowing up my phone with texts."

"Yeah. Tell them to be quiet though." Even nods and walks over to the door, not even surprised in the least when all four boys are standing right outside, Magnus right at the front.

"Can we come in now?" he asks with this massive eyes he always gives Even. Even is still getting used to the way Magnus adores him, but the day that arrives is still far off.

"Yeah, just keep your voices down, she's sleeping."

Jonas and Mahdi nod, but Magnus is looking confused. "Oh!" His expression clears up. "You mean the baby! I thought you meant Isak."

Even stares. "No." He loves Mags, he really does, but he gets a lot to handle sometimes.

Isak calls from the bed, "Babe, come on, let them in!" Even steps aside to allow them to walk through.

"Holy fuck! There's an Evak baby!" Magnus gasps as soon as he catches a glimpse of Elise.

"Yeah, Mags, and she's a _baby_ so please don't swear," Isak replies quietly with a roll of his eyes.

"Sorry, oh my God! Can I hold her?" Magnus is practically bouncing off the walls with excitement, which is slightly concerning when he's asking to hold Even's hour-old child.

"She's asleep, so when she's awake you can," Isak says. "But even then, Jonas has the first hold."

"Yeah, bro!" Jonas leans over to high five Isak.

"Are you gonna tell us her name?" Mahdi asks.

"It's Elise," Even answers for him.

Magnus says, "That is so _cute_! Seriously, guys, I'm going to have my own baby, I swear."

"You've gotta find someone to have sex with first," Even says and the room erupts in laughter. Elise startles and wakes up with a cry. Isak lifts her up to his chest as he glares at Even.

"Sorry," he says as he joins Isak on the bed. He kisses Elise as she calms down, then Isak. "I love you both."

"Mhm," Isak hums as he smiles up at Even. "We love you too."

Even barely hears the boys chattering in the background, letting Isak's words settle in his head. There's the two people he loves most in the world right next to him, and they love him back.

He feels immeasurably happy, and isn't that a concept?

 

*

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed??? there were some scenes that i wanted to make a lot longer, but i came to hate the way i was writing so much that i couldn't push myself to do it.
> 
> anyway. thanks!! comments are lovely!


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